Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
