The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
