So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
