AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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