hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
she was so not down for the gang bang
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
