I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
God, I missed his penis.
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