We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
We had sex on a dog bed..
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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