i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Randomize
