did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
