I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
