now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
