it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
