If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
