a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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