i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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