Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
