You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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