i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
