i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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