I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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