i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
