I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
