Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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