I think my fart just growled at me.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
