if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
