Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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