i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
