so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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