On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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