She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
