I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
