Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
