did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
