it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
be right there i have to get my cape
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
