so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
