yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
