would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
