I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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