I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
