I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
