I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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