the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
