Yo dont text me then not text me
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
