College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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