kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
