Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize
