Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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