During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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