Just fell off a train. Bad.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
