omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
