i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
